but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
