remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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