My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
