i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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