Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
