you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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