it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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