I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
