Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think your dad took our porno
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
