we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
