i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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