I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
