Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dignity is for republicans.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
