why didn't you poke me back
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
