His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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