I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
