Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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