i permit you to call me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
