: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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