everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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