these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
