dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
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We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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