oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize