i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
