I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
