That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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