Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
