It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
