found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
