the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
