The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
