i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
