I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
