I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
