I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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