i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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