I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
