I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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