Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
