Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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