he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
