I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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