Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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