Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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