Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
