Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize