Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
