they need to just BURY HIM!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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