ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Text me some of your sweat
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
