but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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