I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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