She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
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Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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