I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
