How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
